never play flip cup with pint glasses
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
