we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You're earring is so big in my mouth
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
