Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
