Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
