i need an iv and a liver transplant
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize