Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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