Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
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Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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