i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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