Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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