i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
