A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
