i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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