I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
