whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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