He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
