Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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