we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He felt like a one man threesome
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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