please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
