I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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