and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize