What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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