Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
