Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
BRING THE BAGELS
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
