Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
