just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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