what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
