Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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