try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
