If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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