Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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