i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
