We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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