I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize