Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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