I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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