At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
