Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
