somebody snuck up and got me drunk
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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