i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I need to align my fucking chakras
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
