So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
