# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
