Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
