i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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