Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this will be a night to untag.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
