Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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