can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
