Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I want to have your abortion
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
