this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
