Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
