I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
