I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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