I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
