I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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