Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
