never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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