are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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