so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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